


So, On This Other World

by NobleD93



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Humor, Gen, One Shot Collection, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-05-31 23:45:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6492565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobleD93/pseuds/NobleD93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The DA-Inquisition Crew figures out how to survive and live in the modern world of Earth's 21st Century. While they learn a lot from Kim, Kim learns a lot from them too.</p><p>Chapter Shorts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Asking How a Bathroom Works

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“Kim! Darling, how do I use this?” Dorian asked as he caught sight of her passing by.

Kim drew a few steps backward, standing outside the door way of the pristinely clean bathroom and a Dorian looking over the sitting-water-bowl, which is what Maxwell referred it as.

It’s actually a toilet.

“That’s a toilet… Didn’t Maxwell show you?” The young brunette asked, a little upset that Maxwell, the Herald of Andraste, had brushed off her request. “Fuck, I swear! I asked him to––”

Dorian then quickly cut her off. “Oh! He did! But I refused!” He said, saving his friend from the lady–homeowner’s wrath. He continued, “I was…ignorant and unaware that, even in different worlds, our latrines are also… _different_.”

Kim hid a smile of amusement but her tone gave it away. “You have underestimated our world, Lord Pavus.”

“Indeed I have, Lady Wen. I’m usually much cleverer than this.” He solemnly agreed. Kim couldn’t help but to think that Dorian might have thought of her last name spelled _Wen_ when really it’s _Nguyen_.

“Okay, so, let me show you…” She stepped into the bathroom and gestured to the sitting-water-bowl. “This is a toilet. The top here is a seat, so lift it, when you have to pee.”

Dorian pursed his lips, restraining from saying, _oh! I went outside to do my business_. He had no idea this is where you have to pee.

“After you do so, put the toilet seat down again. There are women in the house after all, and it’s courtesy to leave it down,” Kim explained, and she felt some irritation as she remembered when her brother lived in the house with her. Boy, she screamed at him frequently for it. “Also, this is where you take a dump.”

“Pardon?”

“Number 2?”

Blink.

“…This is where you shit.”

“Ohhhh…”

“And you wipe your ass with this toilet paper. There’s more of it under the sink in case you run out,” Kim said as she opened the lower cabinet, showing the cleaning materials and the tissue rolls still in their packaging.

“Kim, darling, I admire that you don’t beat around the bush, but your language needs some work,” Dorian said to her. “It’s quite vulgar, but I do very much appreciate your help.”

“If you think what I said was vulgar, then you got another thing coming.”

“Oh, Maker, don’t.”

Kim laughed a bit but she continued on to explain about the sink and then the shower. She also had him promised to teach the other Thedas people in the house.

“So you have everything down to the basics?” Kim asked as soon as she finished. Her eyes glanced to the mini-clock on the counter. That took ten minutes to explain a simple bathroom.

Dorian hesitated, analyzing her sentence before saying, “Yes, I have, as you say, everything down to the basics. I pick up things faster than most, dear Kim. Many are jealous of my brilliant mind.”

“You’re so full of it, Dorian, but damn your charm sugarcoats it.” Kim commented, feeling a little jealous.

He smiled. “While I like to hear more praises about my charm, I think it’s time for me to use the privy.”

“Yeah okay.” And with that Kim left.

Gods, did she have so much work cut out for her.

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	2. Three Women In Her Room

“Sunday morning, rain is falling!” Kim sang. “Steal some covers, share some skin!”

She continued to sing as she turned off the shower. She wrapped herself in with the long towel and used the shorter on to dry her hair as she walked out of the bathroom.

“That someday it would lead me back to you–– _AHH!_ ”

Kim hurried back inside the bathroom, using the door to hide from the three intruders in her room that were having tea around the small patio she had in the master bedroom.

“Oh come now, we’re all women here, dear,” Vivienne said as she was taking a sip of her tea and looking through the magical book with moving pictures. “I must say this _tablet_ you call is very entertaining, but I do have some complains, especially this man that doesn’t have an ending on the tale of how he met his children’s mother.”

“What the fuck are you all doing here in _my_ room, having tea?!” The white-washed demanded but then she stopped. “Wait! Were you listening to me sing the whole time?!”

“Oh! You have a lovely voice, Lady Wen! Don’t be too embarrassed,” Josephine happily quipped. “The songs of your world are so very captivating!”

Kim had no idea how to take that compliment, but she still felt like her privacy was invaded.

“This dress is very short. You would wear this?” Lelianna asked as she had been standing, examining the clothing that Kim had laid out on her bed. “This skirt would show off your knees. Very daring, but from what I hear Bull said, the women here wear lesser clothing. Sometimes almost nothing.”

Kim flushed at that. “Look. It’s normal around here, and it’s called a _skirt_.”

“A skirt. Hmm…”

Seeing that these women weren’t going to leave her room, Kim marched over quickly to her bed, grabbing her clothes and going into the walk-in closet to change.

“Oh my! You have more clothes?” Josephine asked. “You don’t only have clothes in the dresser, but that room as well?”

They were getting up, except for Vivienne, to peak at the closet. Kim felt like she didn’t have a choice as she pulled her door wide open for them to see, and turned on the lights inside.

The Spymaster let out a bit of gasp.

“Are those shoes?” Leliana gaped a bit, and the businesswoman was reminded that the spymaster had a shoe fetish. “You have so many pairs of shoes, sandals, and boots!”

Less than 50 pairs, Kim was sure.

She was also sure that she was going to be late for work.

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	3. What is Decided?

“Hey Boss! What are you working on there?”

Max stopped for moment, looking away from the photos and up at Bull. He hadn’t notice the big qunari walking into his study room. Then again, he was a spy, who had learned how to sneak in stealthily despite how much of a giant he is. Good thing the ceilings in this house were high.

“My work as a P.I.”

“P.I.?”

“Private Investigator.” Max had been working like one for over a year now, and he was good at it, especially with his magic returning.

The Qunari raised a brow at him, smirking a bit. “Does that include those tiny paintings on your desk? Of people having sex?”

Max pursed his lips, keeping from smiling. “These are called photos, Bull. I take them from a device called a camera. Also, I was hired by a man who wants to find out if his wife is cheating on him or not.”

“Seeing those photos, I’d say she is.” Bull affirmed and he took a sit down on the couch. “So you’ve been working like this for three years now, Boss. Scouting out for any cheating lovers and getting paid for it?”

Max shrugged. “I only started working a year ago, but yes. I’ve been in this world for three years as I have said before, and now I’m… used to living here. Plus, I don’t like living here without paying for anything, so Kim is letting me pay $600 for renting a room.”

The room fell into silent for a moment, and Bull had to ask, “…Have you ever thought of coming home?”

How was Max going to answer that? “…I lost my magic when I first got here, Bull.”

“But you said it came back.”

“It came back over a year ago, which is why I chose to get this job.” Max explained. “The point is… I had come to a conclusion that I could never come home again. That I could never…” He trailed off, now turning away from Bull’s gaze. “…Who knew that only three months passed in Thedas?”

“You didn’t. We all didn’t.” Bull said as he stood up, now walking over to his desk.

Max tensed up a bit, clenching his fists. “I couldn’t go home. Even if I got my magic back, I don’t think I’ll be the same person. I thought…. That it’d be better off if everyone thought I was dead, that you would…”

He trailed off, but Bull urged him on. “That I would?”

“…That you would move on.”

Bull slowly knelt down in front of Max. “ _Kadan…_ ”

“Don’t. Bull…” Max reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder to stop the gray-skinned qunari. “You… you need to go back. What about the chargers? They’re on their own there.”

“And what about the Inquisition, Kadan?”

“…I don’t know. Just… give me some time, please.” He told him. “I’ll give my answer soon, but for now… we can’t, Bull. We just can’t. Not yet. Not until I know my decision.”

With no other choice but to wait, they left the conversation like that. Neither moving nor talking anymore, just remaining there as silence took the room accompanied with uncertainty.

Max needed to choose and soon.

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End file.
